I just realized I'm having a mid life crisis and the reason it's taken so long to figure it out is that I've been busy blaming it all on my boyfriend. My bad. Now I can see that not everything is his fault, however there is still one particular behavior that I seem to have issue with regardless of my midlife crisis. In a nut shell this is it: my boyfriend has taken to going out all night and coming home at 4 am all excited about his adventures, waking me up to show me pictures and everything. I'm not sure what bothers me more - being woken up from a deep comforting sleep or the fact that he is out having fun without me. Granted he sometimes invites me along but I don't want to stay out all night. I don't want to dance in a trance to dub step music. I don't want to run (mostly) naked on the beach at midnight. And I don't want to party with people twenty years younger than me. But he sure loves it. Come to think of it, maybe I am confusing his midlife crisis with my own.
We have always been into doing our own thing as well as managing to spend alot of time together. You could say that we are attached at the hip by a long long cord. And it never bothered me before when he went out to dinner with the guys, or other professional activities with men and women, but for some reason this co-ed all night dancing has me rankled. And it's not that I don't trust him: he doesn't drink or chase women, or squander his money. He's most likely having good clean fun and as a loving friend and partner, that's what I want for him, fun. But it's a god damn paradox: I'm not happy for me but I'm glad for him. What I really want is perspective. Am I being unreasonable to not want a boyfriend that stays out all night without me a couple times a week or am I making too big a deal out of this? I can't tell. Do I not trust him as much as I thought I did? Or maybe I'm just jealous because he's having fun and me, in my midlife crisis, am craving more fun and more variety of life too. The only thing I know that works in this case is to take my focus off him and turn it on myself. What is really going on with me? What instigates a midlife crisis? Is it spiritual or emotional or hormonal? Probably it requires a bigger fix than just getting a new boyfriend/job/purse. I guess I'll be exploring this in the next couple postings but in the meantime leave me a comment and let me know what you think about this boyfriend out until 4 am thing.
Sigh. As we all know there are no instant fixes for life or for relationships. However I do know a few efficient and relatively quick fixes for your skin. Here are some of my favorite skin savers that I promise will work wonders for you:
I have a new favorite neck cream and, in the world of neck creams, it really isn't terribly expensive. I was turned on to Nectifirm at my favorite spa, and while it is not like getting plastic surgery, it does do an admirable job of contouring my jaw line. This advanced technology firms and tightens the skin, helps considerably with lines and wrinkles, and even reduces the fatty tissue a little bit as well. I like that it uses a lot of natural ingredients to accomplish the job and my skin is much happier for it. I'm a big believer in neck creams and if there's one thing I could impress upon you is don't ignore your neck! Maybe you won't go for the totally fabulous Nectifirm but I beg of you to at least puts something on your neck (all the way up the sides and behind the ears!).
Another must have item is Dr. Brandt Laser-a-Peel. This glycolic acid mask is as terrific as anything you'd get done at your local spa - in other words, strong. It's easy to use, just spread the gel/cream in desired areas and leave on for 3-5 minutes. Rinse off and your skin will be glowing like nobody's business. This is a perfect at home treatment (comes with soothing gel) to be used once a week max, for those of you who have skincare concerns such as aging, acne scarring, sundamage, large pores, or lackluster skin. Just be sure to use your sun screen diligently for a week after exfoliating. And a word to the wise - it's gonna tingle - but it's supposed to. So good luck my friends, you're gonna love it, but you needn't bother sending a thank you note, you're happiness is all the thanks I require.
Very exciting news: DermaDoctor came out with a 1% retinal treatment this year. For an over-the-counter, retail retinal product the 1% strength is sensational. It is powerful but even better, their Poetry in Lotion Intensive Retinal cream is formulated to not be as irritating as a lot of retinal products are. This is the perfect answer for adult acne, as retinal keeps the skin clear and exfoliates to speed up skin cell turnover rate, which in turn slows down the aging process. Others who would love Poetry in Lotion are anyone with hyperpigmentation, large pores, dry mature skin, or even youthful acneic skin.
Kill two birds with one stone and use Peter Thomas Roth Un-Wrinkle Foundation spf 20. This foundation gives a beautiful, creamy, smooth, long wearing, medium coverage and provides skin treatment ingredients as well. As with all of the Un-Wrinkle line, the foundation contains a patented anti-wrinkle peptide that mimics botox. Unlike many products of its ilk, Un-Wrinkle Foundation can stand alone as a treatment and it can stand alone as a foundation. Who could ask for more? I am dying to buy this stuff as soon as my Laura Mercier foundation runs out.
Epicuren is a professional line of skincare that only the most serious of spas provide. It is the secret weapon of celebrities whose livelihood relies on looking young and flawless. Most all of their skincare and bodycare is all formulated with enzymes which counter attack all the ills of aging as well as other problems. I'd start out with something basic like the Volcanic Clay Purifying Mask which contains volcanic clay and China clay for purifying, and all kinds of botanicals like rosemary, sandalwood, and licorice for more purifying and revitalizing as well. Because of the exclusivity of this line you need to purchase it through a spa so I suggest going to their website www.epicuren.com for a spa locator or else follow my link on the mask to a spa that you can place a phone order with. Don't be intimidated, the results are absolutely worth it!
The only product on this list I haven't tried consistently is Kinerase Scar Healing Therapy, but based on their reputation of excellent and effective dermatologist recommended skin care I have no trouble giving this product my seal of approval. Granted, I don't love the consistency, but it serves a purpose which is to smooth the appearance of raised red scars on contact. And then after 8-12 weeks your raised red scar will be significantly and permanently improved. So they say. I'm willing to try it on an old removed-mole scar on my arm, but it is totally safe to use on your face too.
They say looking good is a woman's best revenge, so for now I think I'll stick to my favorite skin savers and forgo all the retaliation fantasies I've had brewing about my boyfriend. Best to lay low until this is all figured out I think.